And if you listen very hard (home hospice journey #6)

Short entry tonight. It’s been a long day.

Our journey is soon to come to an end, it seems. D. Is mostly quiet; what energy she has is dedicated to continuing to draw breath. She’s at pretty close to the safe dose of morphine, which seems to keep her fairly peaceful. My husband witnessed his great aunt’s death to the same cause – cigarettes – that was not morphine-assisted and said it was pretty brutal. I’m glad that she’s getting whatever peace she’s getting.

So, it may be tonight ( but I don’t think so, for whatever reason), it may be tomorrow but it will be soon – that I know.

When my dad died, he spent the last few days calling my mothers name. He’d had a stroke – a severe one – and this was the only word we heard from him after that. Just “Mary”, every so often, while gazing into the distance. I hope D feels the presence of those she loved waiting to welcome her too.

And now I sleep for a bit.


4 thoughts on “And if you listen very hard (home hospice journey #6)

  1. Teri I’m right there with you all. I was so grateful to have had a chance to talk w/D on the phone! This is so hard…sending clouds of Light & Love…gonna just go ahead & fill your house. Special catsize clouds for Abby.
    I have no doubt she’ll have lots of meeters & greeters! In our last conversation she said she’s been ready to go for quite awhile…my mom was too – I’m glad. D’ll just have to make sure she works in Iceland the next trip…maybe start there?
    She and I shared some of the best times…and worst times of our lives together with so much fun in between! …Oh!! She’ll be with Nunez! I’d like to be there for that – w/a return ticket! Man! I am so grateful for our friendship…
    Love to you my friend & dear Michael Sean.

  2. What I have learned from witnessing my father’s and my sister’s death is that both of them had already “checked out” long before their body had actually taken their last breath. Both were in hospice-dad at home and Carolyn in the hospital being monitored with what they termed as “comfort care”. Both were on heavy doses of morphine. They slept and made utterances as well. If they opened their eyes they did not really see us, but rather their gazes were fixed far beyond the present living world. When they had pretty much stopped eating and communicating with me and my mother, I had to realize they didn’t need nourishment like I did nor did they need to verbally speak because where they were preparing for doesn’t use those things. God was already preparing them for eternal life. HE knew their human body vessel wasn’t necessary anymore, so to prepare us left behind, we needed to realize it was ok to let them look beyond the present and toward their eternal future.

    My prayer for you Teri and for your family is to be able to find peace that passes your understanding and to quietly embrace the next few days or whatever the duration may be with love. Hugs to you. Just remember, she is not alone, God is alreadt showing her the way, and I have a listening ear and heart for you,

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